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the end of 2009

2009 ended quietly for me.. no hoohas.. just spent time with my family..
something i havent done for the past few years..

so much has happened in the past year..
i graduated.. i went overseas.. lived alone..
came back.. got my heart broken..
it still hurts.. some days more than others. sometimes i dont even want to get out of bed
but i know i have to. i just have to.
im trying hard to get on with my life. trying not to think about it.
but its hard.
i know everyone says time heals it all.. it all gets better with time
im waiting for time to heal me

the past few years.. my life revolved around him. i neglected alot of my friends
now that im alone.. i realised i lost alot of friends. everyone has their own lives
i have to learn to be stronger and be more independent.

a month flew by since i got back
time passes so fast, yet i dont feel better.
i dont know how long it will take for me to heal

i dont know what 2010 will bring me. it feels the same so far
i'll be going away again in feb.. this time till the end of the year
frankly, im terrified. this time, i'll be really alone
everyone thinks im strong enough to do this, but im not sure
im dreading feb27

no new year resolutions for me
just new year wishes
hope 2010 will be a better year than 2009
hope i'll be able to walk out of this as a stronger person
hope we'll both be happier

major emo

this is the song i used to listen back in melbourne.. lying on the bed.. watching the rain.. sometimes, only chinese emo songs really hit the spot..

Hello from Melbourne!

 so.. mummy left yesterday afternoon. that marks the end of the transition period. daddy left last wednesday and ive been spending quality time with mummy over the weekend. went shopping and had afternoon teas (: it still feels surreal that im alone in this foreign land. the house felt very quiet after mummy left yesterday. okay its not a house, its a tiny apartment. haha. okay pictures up soon i promise. ive been so lazy to upload photos plus ive been watching brothers & sisters. got to start catching up on my reading tonight! tutorials start tmr and ive got homework to do! boo ):

just had bread for lunch cos i was too lazy to cook. now i know why singles never cook, mostly buy takeaways. but! ive been ambitious and i stored loadsa stuff to start my cooking endeavours. i bought jap rice, seaweed and the mat to make sushi. i got some canned pickes to eat with porridge, sausages for hotdogs, meat and vege for soups! haha i really hope i cook them before they go bad! and my fridge and freezer is tiney weeny! i didnt have enough space in the freezer to put all the meat and i put some nearrr the freezer. now when i open the fridge, theres this smell.. like something went bad already. and the thing is i dono which one!!! ): so i just faster close the fridge and i'll find it when i wanna cook lah. sheesh man. 1st day living alone and i have to deal with rotten food! BOO

okays its 1144am here and ive got class at 1! gotta start changing and all! i will blog soon!!

i just had orange and my throat feels weird. grrrr

final lap

 last 2 exams in smu in the morning. go go go!!!

we can do this

 my 7 mth resolution with ongs and ng. lets hope we can make this work!

me, myself and i

i guess the australia plan should be more or less fixed already. of course that depends if the uni wants me. but i think it shld be fine.. even if melb doesnt, monash should be okay? and matt took on the UOB job already. an initial 6mth contract and if he performs well, it'll be a perm job. im happy for him. that he managed to find a job in this crisis, the pay's quite good too.. considering the recession. well, but that means we'll be apart for a year. i dont know whats wrong with me.. thats what i wanted from the start right? i kept telling myself.. a break for the two of us will be good. we've been together all the way since year 1 december.. we even went sweden together.. travelled together after exchange.. so some time apart will be good for us. a test of the relationship? but now that it really is happening.. im missing him even though july's a couple of months away.. grr im sucha needy gf.. bahh. i know i'll treasure the remaining few months i have with him. and maybe i'll come back in december during the break. then it wont be too bad right? 

Mar. 5th, 2009

 in a couple of days i'll be taking a huge exam. i know its just math and verbal but maybe cos i havent been practising math for about 4 years, i feel quite lost. i have been quite stressed up for this exam. havent been slping well recently. ahhh please pray hard for me. a lot of people know that im taking the exam (grp mates, smu mates) and everyone has been asking hows prep coming along. matt says theyre just concerned for me.. i know that.. its just so stressful. everyone says do us proud, do smu proud. it adds to the stress!!! moreover im not doing well with the practices so. oh crap. i know. just do i best. i know.
 i love my darlings. theyre the absolute bestest friends i can ever have. hugs (:



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